Mistakes — Everyone Makes Them — Let’s Move Into the Light!

“Gypsy Rose Lee of Kalamazee,
In Kalmazong, Mazoo,
Has Looked in Her Ball –Oh!  Wonder of All–
I See what she Saw was You.” Jacki Kellum

Gypsy Rose Lee
Jacki Kellum Illustration
Reworked in Procreate

Several years ago, I started a journey toward learning how to make art on my iPad in Procreate. I created the above illustration of Gypsy Rose Lee then.

I created several other characters for illustrations at that time:


Perky Pelican – Jacki Kellum Illustration
Recreated in Procreate

I also began working on the background for one of my traditional illustrations

Jacki Kellum Tree Created on Procreate – July 28, 2020

I used Bardot Brushes from her Gouache Paintbox to Paint my tree:

I mainly used the brush Opaque Round.

I used several layers, and after I had outlined the drawing in Opaque Round, I began to flood the area with a watercolor-type brush. I used Gouache Wash for that. I believe that I used the transparent wash brush:

After I laid in the washes, I went back and did a bit more calligraphic outlining, and I used the Gouache Paintbox Brush   Opaque Round brush again.

I wish now that I had used the brushes from the Gouache Paintbox panel that are labeled as Brush Strokes. I could have achieved an even more painterly effect that way.

At the end, I used the Gouache Paintbox Brush Pencil to sign the piece.

How I Painted a Tree on My Ipad Pro with the App Procreate and Apple Pencil – Using the Bardot Brush Set Gouache Paintbox

.A few weeks after this surge of work in Procreate, my debut picture book The Donkey’s Song was selected for publication by Doubleday for Young Readers — an imprint of the Penguin Random House group of publishers.

While that was the miracle of a lifetime, I did not follow through with Procreate. The fabulous illustrator Sydney Hanson had created the perfect illustrations for Donkey.

You would think that getting my picture book published would have urged me forward with all my creative efforts, but the opposite happened. I assumed that I could never match Sydney Hanson’s art, and I gave up on Procreate.

THAT WAS A MISTAKE

Today, my goal is not to talk about my picture book miracle, and it is not to talk about Procreate. My goal is to talk about mistakes. I make them every day.

I wrote The Donkey’s Song while I was living on the New Jersey Shore. Leaving the Jersey Shore was a mistake. The people in New Jersey are more like me than anywhere else I have lived, but I couldn’t afford to live there. Perhaps, it wasn’t a mistake–Perhaps it was a Painful Choice Made Because of Necessity. But life since then has been a sad learning experience.

I lived in the Ozark Mountains for five years, and that was a beautiful place to live

The Donkey’s Song was published while I was living in the Ozarks, but I was renting my house, and the landlord wanted to move back into that place.

To Be Honest, I Didn’t Find My Type of People in the Ozarks Either.
Had I made another mistake–or was it a step toward the Light?

The next year became a flurry of making book tours for Donkey and moving somewhere else–specifically, I moved to Water Valley, MS, a place I had never lived before. For the past year and a half, I have thought that moving to Water Valley was a big mistake. It seems that every door I have approached here has slammed in my face. I believed that there was no one like me in this town–and that still may be the case, but I have tried different approaches.

This past Sunday, I worshipped at the little Episcopal Church in Water Valley, and as soon as I began reciting the following prayer, I knew I was on my way home:

“Most merciful God, we confess that we have sinned against you in thought, word, and deed, by what we have done, and by what we have left undone. We have not loved you with our whole heart; we have not loved our neighbors as ourselves. We are truly sorry and we humbly repent.” The Book of Common Prayer

You see, I had been Episcopalian many years before I moved back to Mississippi again. But I made the mistake of thinking I should return to the church denomination of my childhood. I never felt that I fit in there. Perhaps my mistake was that I moved to a town too small for me. Perhaps my mistake was that I tried to nudge into groups of people that time had closed. Whatever the reason, it was my mistake.

A Big Part of Healing Is Admitting When You Have Made A Mistake

Last week, I went to my little grocery store and bought a Sweet Potato Pie. I do not like Sweet Potato Pie, but I thought it was Pumpkin Pie. The pie was clearly marked “Sweet Potato,” but in my rush, I selected the wrong pie.

That Was MY Mistake.

Today, I went out into my garden and braved the thicket to move my prized iron obelisk into a space where it could get more light.

I made several mistakes necessitating the need to move my obelisk.

Another Part of Healing is Admitting When You Have Been in the Wrong.

Finally, I have admitted my mistakes involved in my being in a space where I could find the light, and I moved on.

“Gypsy Rose Lee of Kalamazee,
In Kalmazong, Mazoo,
Has Looked in Her Ball — Oh! Wonder of All–
I See what she Saw was You.” Jacki Kellum

[In the above words, “You” is Referencing Myself]

Accept Your Mistake and Move On

Being mistaken is a bit like being an alcoholic in that we must admit our mistakes to heal.

Today, I went out to my garden and while it was good enough already–I needed to correct some mistakes there:

Good Enough Is Not Good Enough

BUT MISTAKES AREN’T ALWAYS BAD –SOMETIMES THEY ARE A NECESSARY STEP TOWARD FINDING WHAT IS BETTER

I love The Book of Mistakes: It Clearly Illustrates [literally] How Mistakes are Paths

The Book of Mistakes – Showing Not Telling in a Picture Book

in The Book of Misrakes, the author shows [through one art mistake after another] that she learned to turn her mistakes into art. In my opinion, that is a recipe for a good life.

Let’s Look at my illustration of Gypsy Rose Lee–It began as a traditional drawing in Copic Markers:

I worked days on the above drawing. First, I had to invent the character of Gypsy. That was probably years in making I had to decide how to draw this character in my mind. I also had to figure out how to make patterns work as they wrap around. The effort was monumental. But after I completed my drawing, I realized that the proportions were off.

Oh No! I could not embrace the idea of redrawing that entire thing again. So I scanned the first drawing into my iPad app Procreate, and bit by bit, I corrected the art–in a much less painful way.

Good Enough Is Not Good Enough
Admit Your Mistake and Move On

___________________

Now, back to my return to the Episcopal Church. That decision was right for me. It does not mean my decision would be right for everyone else. But I have not imposed my decision on anyone else.

The best church for me is where I feel that I can worship God.

Some denominations won’t admit this, but every congregation has an aesthetic about it. What appeals to me aesthetically may not appeal to others. But the aesthetics of a church service are an important part of my worship.

Part of the Episcopal service is to sing the following prayer:

“Holy, Holy, Holy Lord, God of power and might,
Heaven and earth are full of your glory.
Hosanna in the highest.
Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord” Episcopal Book of Common Prayer

Amen

A good church service allows me to truly absorb the previous words.

Although you won’t sing the song “I Saw the Light” in the Episcopal Church [and I do love that song]. In the Episcopal Church, I feel the Light:

Light is Important in my Faith. In Genesis, Light is the first of God’s creations and Jesus said, “I am the Light of the World.”  It is important that I truly experience God’s Light.

Some will agree with my choices. Some will not. But it is not important to me what others think about my choices. Yet, how others react to my choices probably says much about the other people who may have been inflicted with the disease of intolerance:

“Have You Loved Your Neighbor As Yourself?

“Most merciful God, we confess that we have sinned against you in thought, word, and deed, by what we have done, and by what we have left undone. We have not loved you with our whole heart; we have not loved our neighbors as ourselves. We are truly sorry and we humbly repent.” The Book of Common Prayer

It is not a coincidence that I moved back to the Episcopal Church after the Election of 2024. I was seriously wounded by people around me who called themselves Christians but who had chosen a man for president who is morally bankrupt: I talk about that in the following video:

Not only is Donald Trump a criminal, a fraudster [and thereby a thief], a sexual abuser, and on and on — but he viciously despises many other races of people. He is the MOST intolerant people I can imagine.

When I went to Sunday school, the words of the following song were etched on my heart:

“Red and Yellow–Black and White,
They are precious in His sight.
Jesus Loves the Little Children of the World.”

Does Donald Trump Reflect the Ways that Jesus Loved the Little Children of the World? No. He Caged Them. He Ripped Babies from the Arms of their Mothers and Caged Them.

How Can Any Christian Support Trump’s Behavior toward God’s Children?

I can no longer tolerate the hypocrisy I see in many people who claim to be Christian, but who prefer for president a man like Donald Trump. 

In my faith, Good Enough is NOT Good Enough

Until I moved back to the Episcopal Church, I was trying to fit into the wrong shoes. I was trying to live my life according to rules I didn’t even like:

A Mistake Does Not Need to be a Life Sentence

If you are not living your life in a way that is authentic for you, Move On!

Move On!

When I was a little girl, my grandfather was the manager of the local IGA in a small town with a population of about 1200. For several Saturdays, he and the IGA brought a country talent from Tennessee to perform. That talent was Porter Wagner. A young, unknown gal by the name of Dolly Parton performed with him. As I remember, she was doing the commercial-like jingles for a detergent that contained a free kitchen towel. I guess she paved a pretty good road for herself after that. She is one of the few rich people I know of who has not sold her soul.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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